


Heaven Forbid | Are We Still Doing Songfics in 2020?

by orphan_account



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: u kno like that song by The Fray lmaoQuick songfic briefly exploring unhealthy mentality and habits for Eiichi.
Relationships: Ootori Eiichi & Ootori Eiji
Kudos: 14





	Heaven Forbid | Are We Still Doing Songfics in 2020?

_**Twenty** **years, it's breaking you down,**_  
**_Now that you understand, that no one's around._ **

The time first spent apart from Eiji had been the hardest. All his life, his parents-- they'd been nothing to them. Their father was a tyrant, their mother indifferent. It'd been him and Eiji. He had to look after him, take care of him, be strong for him. He had to take the blows for his family. His only family. It wasn't ever about being the best. 

But once their father had separated them, what had he been left with? Nothing. Eiichi didn't know how to live for himself. In all truth, he still doesn't. Everything he worked for, it was for the best for both of them, but especially for Eiji. His dad could go to hell, the rest of it could go to hell. But when they were finally reunited, even for a brief time... Eiji had grown up. He'd always been mature, but now? It hit him like a punch to the gut. Eiji didn't need him the way he needed someone to look after. 

**_Take a breath. Just take a seat._ **  
**_You're falling apart, and tearing at the seams._ **

His mental state had always perhaps been a question. Living with the stress and hell their father put them through, perhaps it was only natural to seem a bit unhinged at times. Constantly stressed, emotions unchecked. Self care is a concept he can map out and make happen for others, but for himself? He's clueless. 

**_Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why.  
Hold on tight. Wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright._ **

Even in a crowded room, even in the spotlight, you can be alone. Otori Eiichi was _never_ meant to stand alone. He needed people to need him. Needed to keep pushing himself and lead his chosen family to new heights. They weren't the best because he said so, they were the best because they _deserved_ so. 

He doesn't know how to live without copious amounts of pressure. Without high standards and higher self expectations. And sometimes he can't. Threads fray, his health plummets. And the only way he'll break is if he's aware it'll affect his performance. Nothing can be less than exceptional. He doesn't even realize who instilled those standards in him. 

**_It's on your face. Is it on your mind?_ **  
**_Would you care to build a house of your own?_ **

No one is surprised that HEAVENS is his chosen family. Everything he does is for them-- _everything._ In a way, he's only ever wanted a family. And he's built it from the ground up. No parents in the traditional sense. They all take care of each other. Just like he and Eiji did. But it's tiring at times. To hold himself up to be such a pillar. He won't ever back down, it's not in his nature. But they know him. They see it. And so he becomes stronger, sturdier so they needn't worry. 

**_How much longer? How long can you wait?_ **  
**_It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away._ **

He's also been known as a ladykiller, a ladies' man. It's partly for image. But it's mostly for the unrelenting savior complex. How many times has he picked someone up, tried to help someone who wouldn't be, who wasn't ready to be helped? How many times can you break your own heart? How many more times will he do it again? Too many. Far, far too many. 

**_Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why._ **  
**_Hold on tight. Wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright._ **

Otori Eiichi wasn't made to be alone. He needs people. Needs to feel needed. And yet he is only human. He has limits. He ignores them. Yet he understands pushing himself so far will make those who rely on him worry. And that won't due. It's a vicious cycle. It's an endless cycle. 

**_It feels good._ **  
_**Is that reason enough for you?** _

And yet it's familiar. It's something he knows how to work with. It's unhealthy but technically functional. If only because he's made it work. He isn't intent on changing, only pretending he has if he has to. It's familiar and he's made it work and that's all he needs to know. 

_**Don't know how to get you out of this one.** _

And yet he's not the only one who's good at acting. They pretend they don't see it. A last ditch attempt to not let him dig himself in further. They're trying to figure it out. How to get him out of it. How to break this cycle. But it's a deep hole he's dug-- bad habits are always harder to break. And this is a lifestyle, a philosophy almost. And right now, for now, they just don't know. They try, but they just don't know. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song I use a lot when thinking about Eiichi and getting into character etc and I was finally like u kno what let's do let's just throw the headcanons songfic out there


End file.
